It's Been A Year

It has been one year since we left Chippewa Falls.  

One year since Andy left his old job and started a new one.  

One year since we began living with Dad and Mom Teska.  

One year since we were hoping everyday would be the day we would get an offer on our house.  

One year since Ella looked and acted like this.

One year since Gianna gave us moments like these...

...And since I didn't really give a good explanation about the main factor that contributed to our decision to move a year ago, I would like to share a little bit more now... when there is less emotion and uncertainty involved, and I can better see the light at the end of the tunnel;)...

Main factor, we, more specifically I, needed more support.  I was struggling to be the mother of two with a husband who worked 24 hour shifts.  Many days, when Andy was at work, I felt alone, and I felt like I didn't have anyone I could turn to when the days (and nights) got long and hard.  It was physically and emotionally draining, and it was affecting my relationship with Andy as well.  I felt a lot of resentment towards him because I felt like he was always gone (even though I knew he had to be gone, and I knew he was gone supporting our family, like he should be!)  I knew it wasn't fair that I felt that way, but I couldn't help it, I did.

After Ella was born, I struggled with some post-postpartum depression that made some days and nights unbearably hard, so I decided to seek some spiritual direction from a local priest and talk to my OB doctor about they way I was feeling.  Both experts confirmed that it wasn't crazy for me to feel like I needed more support. I knew I always felt a lot more uplifted and happy when I was surrounded by family in La Crosse, and my doctor told me, sometimes the best medicine is being close to family and friends who can be there for us when we need them.  So, after that advice was sought and many prayers were prayed, we knew a move was what God was leading us to... and that was the main factor that contributed to our decision to move.

Overall, I can't believe it's already been a full year!

And where are we now, a full year after we made the decision to move?

After life left us in transition?

After we were still uncertain about how everything would work out?

We are happy with where we are!

We definitely carry some great memories with us from Chippewa Falls and miss some of the great people we met there, but overall, we know we needed to make this move and know the sacrifices it took to do it, were worth it.

Although life still has plenty of ups and downs, and we can never be fully certain of what the future may hold, we feel a sense of peace about where we are now, and we know this move has been a positive one.

Being closer to a sister who stays home and two supportive sets of parents has been a great up lifter for us.  The long days are a lot fewer and farther between and definitely not as lonely anymore. They are manageable and just feel like a normal part of this stage of life.

Now, Andy works more days (not hours though), and I don't have resentment towards him like I did.  Are there days that still get long and I wish he was home a little bit more or didn't have to go to this or that obligation, YES!  (again, I think that's part of the demanding years of parenting we are in right now;). But, it's different now; he's not the sole person I have to turn to when the days get long, and I can more fully recognize he is doing this or that to support the family he loves.  He has shown me what a truly devoted husband and father does; he left a job he LOVED and moved to another city because his family was his number one priority! I don't think I could thank God enough for giving me such a wonderful, selfless husband.

YES, the girls are just that much older now and YES, I'm not pregnant or nursing or just had a baby, functioning on restless and interrupted sleep (those factors have definitely helped as well), but I still think a lot can be said for having family around you to support you on this journey-- one we are not meant to walk alone.  GOD CREATED FAMILIES (AND GOOD FRIENDS) FOR A REASON, and I think we do ourselves a great disservice if we do not recognize our dependence and need for one another... I also don't think I could thank God enough for the wonderful family and friends he has given me as well... they make me a better person; they help me recognize the person God created me to be.

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